For this article to be understood, we need to stand on the premise of ideologies shaping societal structures.
And in this instance, I’d like to write about the ideology of patriarchy.
An ideology doesn’t just affect one demography, it affects everybody. And that means there is patriarchy in everybody irrespective of their gender identity, and it is difficult to measure or ascertain to what degree in every individual.
That said, we all have patriarchy inside of us, even I writing this article with all my feminism, I still have it. For I cannot separate myself from the whole, for I am born inside that construct too. I can only try to resist, and that resistance will be for life. Because ideologies are continuous. They’re here before we’re born, they’ll be here after we’re gone. Which is why it’s only logical to face problematic ideologies instead of people. People are transient, ideologies are not.
For example, it doesn’t matter that we chase Tinubu away. The way it didn’t matter that Buhari stepped down. The way it didn’t matter that Abacha winded up dead. We’re still here, dealing with all these mess because the inherent ideologies in a capitalist structure are never addressed.
That said, I’m genuinely trying to understand “feminists” who claim that men are inherently bad and that they cannot be feminists.
The universe has got a sense of humour and I see a lot of you giving birth to baby boys. Are your babies inherently bad just because they have penises?
Obviously, the answer is no.
There’s just an ideology on ground, which is patriarchy, that will shape them into sexists who fear women, hate women and seek to subdue and hurt women.
And isn’t it funny that every other man is bad except the ones in your lives?
Still standing on your claim that men are inherently horrible, and especially that men just can’t be good and cannot be feminists, what solutions do you propose?
Wipe them out?
Okay, can we start with your sons and fathers and brothers? Who wants to go first?
You lose your mind even in cases where it’s pleasure we want to give the men in your life and pray that side-chicks will die everyday. Is it now death that you will make easy?
Because you make these claims as if you don’t have men in your lives that you love and who also love you. You talk about these people like they’re some non-existent impersonal objects.
You throw questions at incels;
Don’t you have mothers?
If it was your sister, would you have liked that done to her?
I’m throwing this same question at you.
You have male family members.
You have male friends, you have romantic partners.
Can it be that bad that even a random person who happens to have a penis has NEVER been nice to you and made you believe in humanity? That not a single man in this world has ever been humane to you no matter how little? Not your family? Not a stranger? Not anybody who is a man has come through for you? If that is the case, I honestly think you’re the problem.
There’s someone I know who loves talking about her dad a lot and how he’s just amazing, and yet always insists men are just bad. That cognitive dissonance confuses me. Is your daddy not a man?
Incels make a sweeping generalization about women and how we’re horrible and dangerous and manipulative and controlling. On how we’re just so evil.
I do not like it, because I believe I try my best to be a good person. I’m trying to be a better person everyday. I really am. It is actually more generally difficult to be good than the opposite, irrespective of the gender.
What is the difference between what incels and what these “feminists” do?
On one hand, they insist men are just generally terrible.
They still see men trying to do better, you call them simps and that they’re only trying to go for your pussy. Sorry, there’s milk and honey and gold attached to your pussy? Your pussy is that sweet? Pussies are fkn cheap, the same way pinizes are fkn cheap.
Sex is about the only commodity capitalism hasn’t found a total way of controlling and privatising. It’s so cheap you can even give yourself sexual pleasures without coming in contact with the other person with which you’re pleasuring yourself or even without involving another person at all. And pussies can be got even without trying to form “feminism”. Those incels get laid like mad, and they get married and have so much followers and even monetize misogyny. Women love and defend these folks.
But of course, a random person somewhere has decided to be a “simp” and a feminist for the sole reason of getting to fk you. You’re that important in the grand scheme of things.
You don’t know anybody would fk anything? Sex is cheap!
And this may sound funny but even if that is the case, you should be happy. Your pussy is so “powerful” it’s making a simp out of a man, haha.
Patriarchy teaches men to never see women outside of being sex objects, and so it’s difficult for women’s humanity and essence to be seen and appreciated.
It’s the same way women have been conditioned to only see men through the romantic lens. Which is why it is difficult to see men outside of that context and see the ones who don’t fit in inside the construct; like your fathers, and brothers and uncles and sons. Otherwise, you’d see that men are inherently horrible is a false statement. Because you would at least SEE the ones trying to be good while constantly battling for their souls against patriarchy.
Anything done inside the romance structure is fkd up, so of course you’ll get hurt and traumatized by the other person (s) even if it’s not their intentions. Once again, it’s about the ideology and not about the people. Give me an inherently humane idea that the romance construct preaches.
Making other people jealous? How is that nice?
Beating and unaliving other people because of using their own genitals with other people, how is that humane?
Wanting to control another person’s body! How is that okay?
The overwhelming anger and insanity that comes from another person using their genitals with another person, how is this even good for YOU?
Being told you can only love and profess love for just one person when the world is in dying need of selfless love? Lots and lots of it. How is this good?
Romance and love have been confused so much people run away from the idea of love altogether. And look where that has got us!
So you can’t see men just from the romance construct and decide that’s what should be used to judge their humanity. Do you, as a woman, ever think of how much you must have traumatised men too? Especially also inside the romance construct? There are men I know will always remember me and shudder and call me evil. And rightly so. Romance drives you crazy and makes you do crazy things.
If men are inherently terrible, and we furiously tell them to back off and not believe in, support and preach an idea that believes in gender equality, which is feminism, what do you propose we do?
Because at this point, I cannot begin to can anymore. 🌚
Written by Sisí Afrika.
