Away from the jokes and banters; what that man, whose pregnant wife was exercising her body autonomy right by having sex with her own vagina with another man, did is WRONG.
You recorded two people naked, WITHOUT their consent and posted it online! Their nakedness is all over the internet for life!
Who does that?
You’re most probably mad at this write-up at this point, which I understand. THAT is social conditioning at play. Social conditioning is VERY powerful, it’s no joke. You can never escape it until you’re dead, you can only get a bit farther from it by the day.
Calm down and get your head out of this goddamn place (I’m borrowing Fela’s words here) and temporarily fight the social conditioning that says it is okay to beat, maim, dehumanize, record two people having sex and post it online, drag the person online, go raving mad and pour acid and even kill people AS LONG AS all these are done in the context of romance.
Anything that always brings out the worst in people like this has got to go!
You would never do all these to a friend, because there are no toxic conditionings surrounding the idea of friendship. You would only do this to a person that has entered the romantic structure with you, either knowingly or unknowingly, y’know through third party side-chick ish.
It will sound and look more ridiculous to you when you realize the romance/monogamy idea is JUST a social construct. As in a social construct!
Humans like me and you sat down and evolved to that level and WE have refused to try and evolve away from it when it’s obviously not serving humanity anymore. Oh wait, a lot of people have been evolving, and I am part of them.
Romance sanctions violence and is so contradictory to human needs and nature by largely embracing monogamy.
It is not logical that one person fully satisfies just one need on the Maslow scale, let alone satisfy ALL of the needs on that scale. Let’s even pretend that is possible; my dear reader, we would ALWAYS crave variety!
Check the statistics of cheating and VERY messy breakups and divorces and you would know this is absolutely NOT working! You’re only resisting because you’ve been conditioned that it’s totally okay to find your personal person to own, without that, someone loving and sticking with you is not guaranteed. But deep down, you know it’s all a sham. Romance/monogamy don’t guarantee security, they don’t guarantee shits.
Romance gets more disgusting to me by the day.
Romance encompasses relationship (boyfriend/girlfriends), sugar daddy/baby, and marriage.
I have always been afraid of having sex with people I care about because I feel it would be ruined and truly, this has ALWAYS been the case. The possessiveness starts, the jealousy starts, the toxic societal ideas and expectations of two people who love each other seep in and the relationship between those people has already hit the rock from the beginning.
I have found out I am not afraid of having sex with my friends, I am afraid of having sex because I am afraid of romance.
I am not afraid of the sex in itself, because sex is a pleasurable act that can be participated in with a person or group of people (with their consents of course), and you might never see them again.
But the case is dicey with someone you’re already friends with; you’re very good friends yeah? Then you have sex, boom!
“What are we now?”
We are STILL friends, love. Let’s not ruin this by bringing romance (which is a demotion NOT promotion to friendship) into the mix.
Friendship is an avenue to love another person without any form of restrictions on either side, you bring romance into the mix when you want to own and control the other person.
What the hell is even this romance? It is a SCAM.
I have noticed my friendships with people, women especially, started becoming toxic immediately they started (deliberately or not), trying to bring romance into the mix. It brings out the worst in them while they keep saying “but I love you, but I love you!”
You don’t own/possess people you claim to love, you don’t restrict them all to yourself, especially when they don’t want to enter that structure.
In fact, why are you trying to do even YOURSELF such disservice?
Ara ò ro okùn, ara ò ro adìye.
Your mind isn’t at rest anymore. Now you’ve got to compete with 8 billion other people for that person. You’re putting your trust and sanity in the hands of another person to not betray you. You have objectified yourself and that person; something to own.
Last question: What can you do with your friend that you can’t do OUTSIDE of the romance structure?
Nothing.
You don’t get to deal with all the toxicity that comes with romance is all.
SISÍ AFRIKA,
ABUJA.
