Life, whether we like it or not, is just a long chain of decisions. Not always big dramatic ones either, sometimes it’s just what you decide to do when your alarm goes off, who you reply to when you’re half-asleep, or whether you scroll for another 30 minutes instead of doing that one thing that’s been sitting on your mind for days.
But those small things? They matter more than we think. Because the life you’re living right now, and the person you’re becoming, are both shaped by a bunch of everyday choices you probably made on autopilot.
Let’s talk about relationships for a second, and not just the romantic ones, though that’s a whole conversation in itself.
Whether it’s your situationship, your best friend, or your little group chat, we make choices every day about who gets our time, energy, and attention.
And sometimes, we settle. Not because we don’t want better, but because choosing better feels like too much work, or too lonely, or too complicated. But if we’re being real, not every connection is a safe space.
Some people make you feel like you need to shrink or soften just to stay in their lives. And when we keep choosing the same type of people who hurt us, make us anxious, or leave us guessing, it’s no longer “just how it is.” It’s a pattern.
One we’re choosing to keep. You don’t have to cut everyone off and live in solitude, but it’s okay, even smart, to be more intentional about who you let close. Not every vibe is worth investing in.
Now, food.
Yeah, food.
It’s easy to act like it doesn’t matter. You’re young, you’re busy, you’re tired… whatever. But your body isn’t some robot that runs perfectly no matter how you treat it.
Whether you’re skipping breakfast again because you “forgot,” or living off snacks and instant noodles and calling it a personality, those choices catch up eventually, not in a scary health way necessarily, but in how tired you feel, how foggy your brain is, how you react to stuff.
Feeding yourself well isn’t about aesthetics or being “that girl” with green smoothies, it’s about respect. You deserve to feel good. You deserve energy. And you deserve a body that functions at its best because you took care of it.
Social life is another tricky one.
These days, friendships and connections can feel performative, like we’re all trying to be liked, seen, relevant, and not left out. So we show up, post the pics, laugh at the jokes, and pretend to be chill even when we’re not. We end up surrounded by people but still feel like no one really sees us.
Choosing the right people in your social life, people who notice when your energy’s off, who care even when it’s not convenient, who don’t make everything a competition, who celebrates your wins, that’s underrated. You don’t need a big crowd to matter. Just a few solid people who feel like home. And if you find yourself constantly drained, performing, or pretending in your circle… maybe it’s time to choose differently.
The big takeaway?
Choices stack. Not in an instant, not like magic, but gradually, like Lego blocks. Skipping one day of studying doesn’t ruin your grades, just like eating one salad doesn’t make you “healthy.” But when you repeat the same choice over and over, that’s where your life starts shifting.
You don’t always notice it in the moment, but it’s happening. Slowly. Quietly. Daily. Every time you decide to show up or give up, to speak up or stay silent, to settle or stand up for yourself, you’re either building a stronger you or staying stuck in a loop.
So no, you don’t have to have it all figured out. No one does, not really. But the moment you start being just a little more mindful of your choices, like asking yourself, “Is this actually helping me?” or “Do I really want this or am I just bored?” that’s when things start shifting. You don’t need a 10-step plan. Just choose better when you can. Choose peace over drama. Rest over burnout. Real over cool. Growth over comfort. Yourself, always.
Because you’re not as stuck as you think. You’re just one honest choice away from changing direction. One better meal, one kind friend, one “I’m not okay,” one “I deserve more.” And if that doesn’t feel powerful yet, trust me, it will. One day, you’d look back and be kind to yourself enough to be grateful you didn’t keep choosing less. That you paused, noticed, and started building better.
You’ve got time. You’ve got power. Just choose like it matters, because it does.
✍🏾 Esther Elijah Elijah.
